Homeschooling allows us to honor choice rather than pressuring a child to conform.
These thoughtful questions from Marshall Rosenberg cause us to step back and consider motivation:
What would we like the child to do?
What would we like the child’s reasons to be for doing it?
The older our child becomes, the longer the list of “things we would like the child to do.” We want our child to study, to clean, to participate willingly in family time, to have initiative about helping around the house, to demonstrate love.
We don’t want the child to do these things because we are requesting it, or because the child feels forced, or because they are afraid of being punished.
We want the child to do these things because they see the good results of these actions. We want them to feel joy in what they are doing. We want the child to be able to see beyond the current moment and imagine how these actions will help them in their future.
When we keep these ideas in mind, we remember that obedience isn’t our ultimate destination. We know that coercion won’t build character.
Ultimately, as homeschoolers, we can remember, we aren’t only going for cooperation, we are wanting to build collaboration into our learning.